Dr. Angela and her research team at Kent State University have published their latest article on  Sister Circles and Black women.  The article can  be found in the prestigious academic journal Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice.  Click here for more details.  http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1468-2850.2011.01258.x/abstract

September-October 2011

 

Excellent Woman

In my Kent State office, hangs a picture. It is the first thing I see when I enter the office in the morning, and the last thing I look at before I turn off the light at night.  It’s the cover of the August 2008 O Magazine.  I framed it not for the picture of Oprah, but for the words that are written above her head- You are an excellent woman.

 

Everywhere I go, I meet excellent women. Sometimes however, I meet women who mistake being an excellent woman with being a Strong Black Woman. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some wonderful things about being a Strong Black woman, we are bold, we are sassy, and we don’t take any mess.

There are also some disadvantages; chief among them we keep on keeping on even when we know we should stop.   Women tell me all the time, “Dr. Angela I can’t take time to think about that if I did I have to think about everything else.”  That’s how we as Black women deal with stress and anxiety. Men do battle or remove themselves from the situation. White women tend and befriend.  Strong Black Women tend, befriend, and keep it in.

The way we tend to respond to stress and anxiety is the difference between the Strong Black Woman and an excellent woman. A Strong Black Woman will do whatever she can so others won’t perceive her as weak. For to be weak and a Black women is an oxymoron.  But an excellent woman takes the time to learn and USE the tools to protect her spirit. 

  So this month, I want to take the time to remind you, as the O cover reminds me, to protect your spirit. To not allow your mind to become consumed with worry, fear, anger, or thoughts of worthlessness.  To assist you with this task, we’ve started a protecting your spirit Twitter feed. Join us @sootheyournerves. Every morning you’ll receive a quote, a poem, a piece of advice that will help these words seep into your bones “You, are an EXCELLENT WOMAN.”

 

Keep rising,

 

Dr. Angela

Follow me on Twitter at @sootheyournerves

 

 

 

 

…And  Hope Never Disappoints

 

Yesterday, I failed miserably. The details are unimportant,  just trust me when I say it was bad. After it was over, I was faced with several choices, I could wallow in self-pity, I could lash out and blame the people who failed in their assignment, or I could choose to rise.

 I CHOSE TO RISE.

 In making that choice, I was reminded that the first two options are much easier. Self-pity, at least in the beginning, makes other people feel sorry for you and attempt to comfort you.  Lashing out makes them feel as bad as you do.  Both require little effort and give you immediate gratification

Rising, on the other hand, takes mental and emotional energy.  It requires that we see the failed situation for what it really is, a temporary condition, not the end of the world.  Rising requires that we point out to others their mistake, not in an effort to hurt, but to insure they take steps to strengthen their weaknesses. Rising requires that when we fall, we get back up; knowing we cannot change the past, but are opening the door for new and continuous opportunities above all that we ever asked or dream. Rising requires hope, and hope never disappoints us.

Yesterday, I failed TEMPORARILY. Then I remembered that adversity builds character, and character builds persistence and persistence builds hope.   And knowing this, I got up and kept rising

 

Keep rising,

 

Dr. Angela

June 2011 BLOG

Everything must change

Nothing stays the same

Everyone must change

No one stays the same

                Lyrics by Bernard Ighner

 Change. There’s been a great deal of that happening here. The biggest is that Rise Sally Rise®, is now part of a new  company  Soothe Your  Nerves, Inc.  When we first started out, we were a company that  did  presentations and workshops for companies and organizations on  anxiety and fear.  But over the years, we’ve grown and evolved. Through our research  and with your support, we’ve developed Sisters Offering Support  Sister  Circles that  provide women with the tools to manage  their stress and anxiety calmly, quickly, and confidently.  Soon, we will begin to hold training retreats, so that therapists, counselors, ministers and life coaches can become certified in the SOS model. We are excited about  the new company. We are excited  about the difference SOS sister circles and products are making in African American women’s lives.

Yes, we have changed.  But never fear, we still remain firmly committed to making sure that you and  Black women all around the country – Keep Rising,

 

Keep rising,

Dr. Angela